Of Homesickness and Sudden Changes...
Posted by catmille13 at 06:06 PM on June 21, 2007.
Yeah… it’s so peculiar that on my junior year in Elbi/UPLB…
I suddenly felt a bout of homesickness… yup… I suddenly got homesick!
It’s pretty ironic since during my freshman and sophomore years,
I’d rather stay in Los Baños than to go back in Manila…
Coz I got to have the freedom I was craving for years!
And then I got sick of that freedom now…
I suddenly miss the comforts of home, of being with my family every single day.
A lot of people gasp in disbelief when I told them about this homesickness thing.
Hey, I still have the right to feel it isn’t it?
Some people even tend to joke, “Baka na-miss mo lang yung DSL sa house mo.”
Yeah… maybe their right (sort of)…
But this is different.
I think I’ve already reached the point…
The point wherein I got so used to being independent…
That I don’t want to be self-sufficient anymore (for now that is)…
I want to be pampered again; I want to stay in Manila every single day.
Maybe I got too attached… or maybe I had a wee bit fun of a summer.
Or maybe it’s time to go back to the scenery that I was used to.
A lot of changes occurred in school when I came back last week.
My first day’s a mixture of emotions, experiences, mishaps… a crazy rollercoaster indeed!
I suddenly got shocked with all the things that happened… I was overwhelmed!
And yes, I did burst into tears! I just got so fed up… period.
Then it hit me…
I was overwhelmed with the sudden changes in Elbi: moving out from the dorm to an apartment, having to face some same subjects again, resigning from my position, etc, etc, etc.
And now I want a change of scenery… again!
Maybe I got so used to living in Los Baños that I got… bored?
Or maybe I got tired of being there, not that I hate it…
I just want more diversity… and I do miss the urban life!
I don’t want to leave my friends there and I'm not escaping from anything…
But I want change…
Change that will make me go back to the life I was used to before.
My life in Manila.
Call me selfish if you want to but I do have the right to leave…
Because I (not anyone else) decided to stay in Elbi… and I can decide to leave Elbi too.
Just because I wanted to leave doesn’t mean I loathe being there…
I just need to find another place for me to rethink my plans…
For me to find myself basically.
After all…
It’s my future, not anyone else’s.
Currently listening to: random tunes...
Currently reading: err... my current post?
Currently watching: nadaah...
Currently feeling: confused